I want to salute Stephen Quinn for his recent article in The Globe & Mail. If you hadn’t written that article, Mr. Quinn, I’d have never known there were people who hate every expression of life and slavishly follow every law as closely as you do. What happened to you as a child that made you this way? Would you know how to breathe if it were not for the benevolent laws that make you do it? Have you ever had an independent thought in your life?
Please do read this man’s article. It’s all about how much he hates people in Vancouver who can’t follow a number of absurd, anti-freedom laws. Here’s an idea: maybe it’s because they are humans and not robots like you, you plague pustule. Not only does this schmuck hate everybody who has fun, he actually calls a city phoneline to rat them out and passive-aggressively reveals the name of a smoke-friendly patio-restaurant in this article. I hope you enjoyed writing that sentence as much as that small business owner enjoys receiving a fine in the mail that could put him out of business.
My first reaction upon reading this article was physical. My nostrils flared up and my heart started to beat faster. I was incensed that someone like this man could even exist, someone who could hate so much the expression of life, someone who could be such a maniacal rule-follower in every circumstance. I started to dash off an angry email to some friends.
But halfway through that email, I realized I couldn’t really be angry at this man. He’s basically a sub-human who has no understanding of the gift of life he’s been given. I don’t hate him, I pity him. He must hate each day. He must hate nearly everyone around him. I started to feel bad for this loser.
I’m still torn now. From my detached perspective, I pity him. But if I actually came across this guy telling people in a park not to smoke, would I still pity him? No, I would feel enraged again and I would probably berate him. So Stephen Quinn, please stay far away from me. Better yet, stay far away from everyone. Even your kids. You don’t value life. You don’t enjoy it. Leave the rest of us alone.